I am here with my dear friends Ashley and Michael Arn. They are relationship experts especially in dating. And they have taken my couples massage course before so I wanted to get their opinions about how the couples massage can help with your relationship.
So what would you say how the massage helps the relationship? Well I would sometimes massage Ashley before the class but my only move was this one. I would cry on the inside basically. I thought that was the only move so I feel like it helped me massage Ashley in a couple ways.
Number one it gave me just more moves and tips and how to have correct posture and things to make sure that I’m really doing it in a good way for both her and me. And then also just to be in terms of my emotional state to make sure I’m present and really kind of thinking about her and kind of caring about her while I’m doing it, that really helped me to be able to do that too.
That’s great. How was it for you?
I think it gave me a really great opportunity to be able to connect with Michael on a day to day basis in an easy way. Because you know we help clients all day and we’re parents of a child who is very needy. So at the end of the day we find that it’s hard to really prioritize you know making time to talk or try to meet each other’s needs so Yasuko’s class gave us an opportunity to connect with each other in a short amount of time because you know if he massages my head for two minutes it’s like the best thing that’s happened to my day. And so it doesn’t feel like we have to do something long and drawn out for each other, we don’t have to think about it endlessly, it’s just very easy and something we can do to connect quickly at the end of the stressful day.
That’s great. And as dating experts what would you say having a massage skill would that be a good selling point?
Oh yeah. Wait. Sure. You can easily impress your date whether you are man or woman, doesn’t matter. You could very easily impress your partner if you have some mad massaging skills.
I would say there are two ways to impress. One is skill and one is just being able to have the confidence to talk about it with someone because I feel like that’s one of the biggest issues is that even couples that’s been together for 10 years they have a hard time talking about cause it’s kind of intimate things, you kind of feel judged if you don’t do it right, so I think it’s just tough to talk about it but especially dating you can connect to that person, talk to them about it, even that alone is way better than you know 99% of people.
Ok. Now when is a good time to bring up a massage? Maybe not in the first date?
Let’s say about two minutes into the first date. No. I think you can allude to it in the first couple of dates but then I would say that you know you don’t want to probably try it out until you are ready to be little bit more intimate with someone in a sense that you’re willing to touch them and know that it’s going to create chemistry and probably some sparks. So that’s sort of on your moral timeline where you stand in terms of when that’s appropriate.
Well and I think there’s a difference too like on the first date I feel like if you’re talking about what you like I think you can totally say “I love massages” and kinda just what that does to my life and that’s totally not creepy but if I would say on the first date “Yeah I love giving women a massage” you know then I think that’s little creepy but if you talk about yourself first and then you know date three four times whenever you guys are starting to hold hands and touch a little bit more then I think it’s ok to bring up about the other person but I would go about you first.
Ok. Good point. So never push the boundaries. Right. And as you can see we’re all drinking wines. We’re doing wine tasting. Cheers. They’re passionate about wine and relationship too. So what’s the Facebook group that you have for the free relationship tips? Oh yeah. Free relationship and wine tips. It’s Wine & Love with Dr. Ashley and Dr. Michael. Yeah it’s a free Facebook group. It’s very fun. We do talk about some serious topics sometimes where people are frustrated about dating or relationships but we try to keep it fun and light and you know enjoy our wine together, support each other through the kind of struggle of love and just a fun thing. And you know you learn a little bit too.
And your website. You can also get in touch with us at date to, not the number 2, datetosoulmate.com. And I’ll have the link in the comment section below so please check it out.
Cheers to your relationship and good massage!
Massage Monday #308 – Massage and Relationship http://bit.ly/mm-091916